Thursday, March 31, 2011

Weary and Waiting

Yesterday was rough. I honestly looked forward to it a great deal. Yesterday, being my latest doctor's appointment, represented potential answers, and I hoped, some resolution to the seemingly endless doctor's visits, tests, probing, poking, etc. I was, naturally, just a little nervous about what the results might be, but was ultimately quite excited. After all, answers are awesome to have!

Anyway, I arrived at the doctor's office to discover that the large waiting area was so full there was nowhere for us to sit. And that's kinda where the "rough" part started. After glancing around the room, it became glaringly apparent that the majority of women in there were probably 4-5 months pregnant. And that's where I started to struggle emotionally...not because I can't handle seeing a pregnant woman, but because there were so many of them all right in front of me. All of a sudden, I felt very, very alone.

After about 30-40 mins, I was called back for my appointment. I was really thankful to not have to look around at any more swollen bellies, and the excitement about knowing something started to return. But, all that diminished rapidly when the nurse turned to me and said, "We're scheduling your D&C today, right?" I was horrified; I hadn't heard anything about a D&C at my previous appointments, and to my knowledge have never been pregnant nor have my tests shown anything that I would need a D&C for. I managed to hold it together, and told the nurse I didn't know anything about a D&C. She double-checked the info after leaving me in a room, and came back and reiterated the real reason for my visit - to get results and plan further testing. I was greatly relieved to not have a D&C on the horizon!!

After awhile, the doctor came in and talked my results through with me. He said my biopsy results were great and show that I am just where I should be in reproductive stages. (He was a little concerned because I had a very early period in Feb and thought there may have been abnormal bleeding. But, my results show that I am within normal ranges, my period is just a little irregular.) There were also no signs of endometriosis, scar tissue or any other abnormalities based on my test results.

So what next? More tests - this time a HSG test and three months worth of ovulation kits. I am definitely not thrilled about having to wait three more months before we can even think about getting the letter we need for our agency, but I know it will be worth it to know if there are any issues we should know about. I'm just soo ready for this adoption to move forward!!

Oh, I guess I should explain the HSG test. Basically, it's an x-ray test where they will inject dye into the uterus, where it will then flow into the fallopian tubes to check for any blockages in the fallopian tubes. Then, they use an x-ray machine to watch the progress of the dye. Hopefully it will be a relatively smooth and pain-free process. The HSG test will probably be occurring in the third week of April.

Please be in continued prayer for us. This process has not been easy, particularly the waiting.


  1. I know what it's like to be in a waiting room with a bunch of pregnant women when you can't get pregnant yourself - it's overwhelming and saddening. I'm glad though that things worked out well for you at your appointment, and I continue to pray for you. xo

  2. more waiting...I'm so sorry! :(

    i am glad that you are getting definite answers as far as what ISN'T at least you aren't wondering!

    you are on my thoughts a lot!

  3. Thanks Clara - I know you understand!! Thanks so much for your prayers!

    Aprille, it's ok. I definitely struggle with the waiting, but right now I'm trying to focus on the fact that three months (especially in the midst of flight school) will pass very quickly. And yes, it's awesome to get some definite answers and know that (at least so far) nothing is wrong!