Hey everybody. :)

It's a glorious day here...the sky is a pale spring blue with big puffy clouds. The trees are rustling gently with a warm breeze. Ahh...I love this weather. It's been so nice to be able to open up all the windows and let the breeze flow through the house. I am definitely ready to bid winter goodbye!

We've had little bits and pieces of progress in the past couple of weeks. Two weeks ago, we both went through night classes to become CPR (adult, infant, child) and First Aid certified. It came in the midst of an insanely busy week, but we are thankful that it all worked out so we could both go.

On February 11, I had my doctor's appointment to follow up on my test results. The appointment was very short; we learned that as far as the GYN (Ms Delk) can see, I should not have any problems getting pregnant. But, Ms Delk referred me to another GYN to do further testing just to be sure. We do think we have some answers with regards to our infertility, but are keeping this information private.

This past week I received my referral to see the new GYN. However, it turns out the doctor is actually from Mobile, AL and only comes to our area twice a month, and he was booked out until May! So, I am going to be calling today about making an appointment with a different doctor and hopefully I can get in before too long.

Also this past week, I finally got our family profile sent off to Nightlight. :D While most of our profile has been done for several weeks, I've been waiting to work on our letter to the genetic parents with Caleb, whose schedule has been very busy. After getting the letter done, I had lots of issues with converting the file to a PDF, so it ended up being a much longer process than I expected. But, it's with Nightlight now, which is very exciting.

So, where does that put us? Well, we are sort of in limbo mode right now. We are still waiting on child abuse/neglect clearances from AL and TN to finalize our home study. We also need a letter from a doctor saying I can carry a baby, which I'm hoping to acquire when I go to my appointment with the new GYN. After those two things are finalized, we will move into the matching phase!! It is sooo exciting to me to realize how close we are to matching, especially as our agency has a very short timeframe for matching (1-4 months). :D

Other than adoption bits and pieces, not a whole lot has been happening around here, just the usual flight school crazy schedule for Caleb, piles of homework for him, me being a housewife, babysitting, and fulfilling our church commitments. :) God is definitely at work here, and we are so excited to see what He will do in the coming days.

God is faithful

I've been sitting here listening to worship music and I'm so humbled...humbled to realize (again!) that this life is not all about me; it's not even mostly about me. It's NOT about me. Similarly, this adoption is not about me or Caleb or us beginning a family; this adoption is solely about God bringing glory to His name by using two willing vessels. And, it will happen in His time and in His way - of that I am confident.

This has been a very busy week for us, yet one abundantly filled with reminders of God's goodness and sustaining grace. A close friend came home from a missions trip aglow with all God did in the Dominican Republic. Caleb's schedule worked out so he could take me to a dentist appointment. Caleb has been able to attend the CPR training with me for the two nights it ran, even though by his schedule he wouldn't have been able to. Our music for a wedding is coming together. The little girl I babysit has been sleeping soo much better (1hr+ at a time!). I had a great time teaching the 2-3 year olds tonight at church. As a friend reminded me tonight, these are not mere coincidences...they are God at work, showing Himself to be faithful and true, as He promised. With all of these things in my heart, I am so filled with gratitude to serve such an awesome God who loves so deeply and cares so much about the intimate details of my life.

I am learning so much in this season...I read a book (required for our adoption) that finally gave me answers about things from my past and how I can deal with them. Isn't it amazing how God takes something unexpected and uses it just where you need it at a specific time? While I am definitely not where I want to be in the healing and emotional recovery process, I know this: my God is greater than any past events and He can tackle even the most obscure of enemies. I love these words from the Psalms: "Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle." (Ps 24: 8) I am also claiming these words: "Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee." (Deut 31:6) God will be faithful to bring healing and whatever else is necessary.

Hope you all have a wonderful rest of the week!

An Update

So...what's new in our adoption world?

A couple of things:

Our home study is just about wrapped up now. But, we are still waiting on our Child Abuse/Neglect clearances from AL and TN. Please be in prayer that these will come back, and soon! They should have been here by now. Other than those clearances, we just need to get First Aid/CPR certification. That's on the calendar for Feb 7th, 8th, and 10th. Then, hopefully it'll be a quick process to get our home study report in the hands of our adoption agency.

We have been pursuing some fertility testing only to ensure that everything is healthy and that Rebekah specifically does not have any health problems that would prevent her carrying a child. So far, we don't know anything definite (we should know more Feb 11, at my next doctor's appointment).

What we do know is that my hormones are out of balance, making it difficult for me to get pregnant naturally. The doctor thinks I may have a specific condition that would explain a lot of things I've had going on physically ~ everything from it being difficult to lose weight to our infertility and so much in between. Just knowing something definite would be such an answer to prayer and such a relief to both of us. Knowing the name of the problem and any changes we need to make to relieve its symptoms will be so nice.

Our family profile is really coming along, just in case you haven't seen my FB page recently. :) We have put together four pages, with three to go (and two of those are in progress). Here's a sample:

Once our profile is finished, our home study arrives, and we get a letter from our doc saying that I'm healthy and able to carry a baby, things should really start to move forward. It could only be a matter of a month or two before we'd be matched with a couple!!!

In other news, I'm now babysitting an eight-month-old on a regular basis for a friend. I figured now was as good a time as any to start getting used to having to take care of a baby AND get all the day-to-day stuff done. I am enjoying it, but it's been very tiring. Kaylee has been sick most of the time I've kept her (lots of congestion the first 2 weeks and a persistent ear infection) and I'm not being used to having a kid around for hours at a time, so by the time Fridays come (my day off), I am well and truly ready for a rest. But, at the same time, I like that I'm learning all the nitty gritty bits of being a parent (or at least some!) and am learning to balance what I am doing with what the baby needs. :)

Last month my man got promoted which was very exciting, especially as the Army dated the promotion July, 2010!! That means Caleb will be back-paid to July! God is so good.

Flight school is going well for Caleb, though it is as intense as ever. Flight school = crazy schedules, that's for sure! It's been the norm this week for Caleb to leave home at 7ish and not get home til 6ish. Every week is different and definitely keeps me on my toes, especially with lunch prep, which can range anywhere from 10am to 12pm.

In November, I was asked to be a permanent substitute for two Sunday School classes (i.e. teaching whenever their teachers are away) ~ 1st-3rd grade and 4th-6th grade. I have taught two Sundays in each class, and I really enjoy it. :) Caleb is also teaching Sunday School for the Adults between 18 and 35ish, which he is also thoroughly enjoying.

I think that's about all our news for now. :) Stay tuned...hopefully our next blog post won't be a month in coming!

What Comes Next?

I've been thinking that if any of you are anything like me, you probably had never heard about embryo adoption before we mentioned it. So, I figured I'd write a little blogpost and kind of give you an idea of what the next steps will be for us. :)

Right now, we're still technically in the application phase with Nightlight, though we have been accepted by them. This is because they need our home study report and a few other documents before our file can be considered complete. So, we are working to get the home study finished up (should be sometime in Jan) and get the other documents together.

One of the documents we're working on is called a family profile. This document is sent out to prospective families to give them a peek into our world and see whether we match their preferences for their embryos' adoptive parents. So, it's kind of an important document. :) We're probably a quarter to a third of the way through that so far.

After all of the above documents are with the agency, we will have a pre-matching interview with a social worker from Nightlight, just to clarify exactly what we're looking for in genetic parents and our preferences for future contact with them.

Next comes what is called the "matching phase", which entails our profile being sent out to prospective families. This phase can involve a lot of waiting. It just kinda depends on the genetic families and their preferences as to how quickly you are chosen.

After a genetic family chooses us, we receive a bunch of info about them, including detailed medical history, info about the embryos themselves, and their family profile. We get to decide whether they are a match for us.

If we choose them, then we begin signing contracts that solidify the adoption!! :D

Next, travel is arranged for the embryos from the genetic family's fertility clinic to our clinic.

And...finally...the most exciting stage: frozen embryo transfer (FET): where the embryos (up to 3) are transferred to me and Lord-willing, I become pregnant! :D

Nightlight estimates that the whole process should take 5-13 months from start to finish, with it being on the lower end of that timeframe if you're not picky (which we aren't). So, who knows ~ this time next year we could have a baby in our arms! :D

Our Little "Snowflake" :)

Please forgive me if this is rambly or long...I have a cold so my brain is all fuzzy at the moment. :)

As many of you would know, we have been pursuing a typical domestic adoption ~ an adoption in which a birthmother carries a child to term, then gives the child up for adoption ~ through a facilitator agency called Angel Adoption. (A birthmother has the option to change her mind up until about 2-3 days after birth. At this point, we would be able to pick the child up and bring him/her home.)

Roughly a month ago, we found information that indicated that the state of Alabama (where we currently reside) has strict laws prohibiting the use of advertizing by adoption agencies and facilitators (go-between groups between an adopting couple and an agency). The problem was, Angel Adoption at its core is a marketing and advertizing group for adopting parents, meaning they were performing services which seemed to directly contradict Alabama law.

This info kind of turned our world upside down. We hadn't even considered another agency, and we really didn't know where to start looking for a new one. All we knew was that, based on what we'd read, we needed to find a new agency. I have several friends who are also adopting, so I began looking into their agencies first. However, I just didn't feel a peace about any of them, even though they were great agencies.

Somewhere in the midst of reading about agency after agency, I came across one whose website looked "put together" (aka not like something thrown together over the weekend) and that was also a Christian agency. From the moment I opened the site, I just felt a peace wash over me, like God was saying "this is the one". I read many websites before and after that one, but I never found one like Nightlight's. So, I went back. :)

In reading about Nightlight's adoption programs, I came across something I'd never heard about before. I had only read a few details before my hubby arrived home from work, so I shared the details with him and we read on together. We were both fascinated, so much so that we never even got to looking at Nightlight's domestic adoption program that day. At one point, Caleb turned to me and said, "How do we do this program?"

I was surprised...I mean, I hadn't seriously been thinking about doing this program, but I was so fascinated by it. It seemed like the Lord was drawing our hearts to the program without us even fully realizing it. So, with much excitement, I downloaded the document detailing the requirements for the program. We read and read and seemed to only find more joy and excitement in all the details. :)

That is, until we read one little piece of information: for this particular program, Nightlight requires couples to be married 3 years prior to applying, and we have only been married 2 years 5 months. :/ That may seem like a no-brainer - just wait 7 more months and then apply. However, if we were to wait that long, our home study would only have 5 more months until it expired, meaning it may not last long enough for us to actually complete the adoption (home studies only last 1 year). So, we'd end up paying extra out (potentially) to do a home study update.

Something about waiting just didn't seem "right" in our spirits. So, we decided to inquire as to how hard-and-fast the 3 year marriage requirement is. A week passed, with no response. So, we began to look into the domestic adoption program that Nightlight offers. Perhaps we were wrong and that was the way to go? Yet, we never felt the peace or drawing to the domestic adoption program that we had for this other program. Another week passed, and we finally heard back about the program...

"The 3 year length of marriage language is actually more of a guideline than a requirement; the main focus is on how stable and healthy your relationship is."

Words cannot express how excited we were to hear this news!!!!


Soo...I guess you are all probably wondering WHAT this program entails if it is not a regular domestic adoption. :) Well, the program is called the Snowflake program. Here's what the website says about it:

"Did you know that you can carry and give birth to your adopted baby? The Snowflakes® Embryo Adoption Program makes it possible for you to adopt embryos from couples who have completed their IVF treatments and have remaining embryos. These embryos are currently stored in fertility clinics and are waiting to be adopted into loving homes."

Basically, when couples go in for IVF, they have multiple eggs removed and fertilized, creating embryos. Only some of the embryos created are implanted in the potential mother, leaving many left over. It is estimated that there are 500,000 frozen embryos in the United States ~ in essence, 500,000 lives frozen in time. However, these little lives can only be frozen for so long; in my reading I've read 10-12 years is normal. After this point, the embryos deteriorate and are typically not viable.

Embryo adoption involves the genetic parents having their leftover embryos sent to a fertility clinic near us, where some or all (up to 3) embryos will be implanted in me (Rebekah) at the right time in my cycle to God-willing achieve pregnancy. Then, all things going well, I will go through a normal pregnancy with our adopted child/ren and give birth. :)

In our minds and hearts, embryo adoption is such a beautiful picture of the Gospel ~ a life that is not genetically of us is being implanted within us and being made our own. In like manner, the life of Christ is implanted within us at the point of salvation and grows within to consume us.

Of course, there are many risks associated with embryo adoption, as with any adoption, but we are standing in faith believing that God can and will bring these precious lives to fruition. :)

Embryo adoption is something new and different to most people, so we certainly understand you may have questions. Feel free to ask them below! :)

Wait

The last three and a half weeks could be summarized in one word: wait.

Somewhere in the blur of last week, I started to really think about our home study packet (that hadn't arrived in three weeks) and all of a sudden it dawned on me: this is a spiritual battle. Satan doesn't just concern himself with our prayer time or our Bible study time; he attacks us in whatever areas of our lives that we are choosing to serve God (think about it...why would he care about the areas where we're not serving God?).

I realized that Satan was trying to put up a blockade to prevent our packet from arriving. Why? That one packet represents the first step to bringing home a precious child ~ a journey for which God alone can be given the glory for bringing us through.

By the power of God and the prayers of His people, Satan did not stop things from moving ahead with our adoption. Less than a week after contacting our caseworker (Julie) about the packet, it was in our hands.

Who ever knew that one packet of paper would bring so much joy to our home?

Yes, there is a lot of paperwork to fill out.

Yes, there'll be lots of logistics to figure out in getting certain things done around Caleb's very busy schedule.

Yes, there are things that are not what we expected them to be.

But of this I am certain: in the power of our God, and in His time, we will see a baby become our own and the name of God be glorified.

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. (Psalm 62:5)

It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. (Lamentations 3:26)

In My Weakness, He is Strong

"Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong!"

In the last few days, I have been confronted by a vision of something that has been more than a little unpleasant.

It was a picture of weakness.

It was a picture of myself.

Weakness is not something I like very much. It sort of makes me scrunch up my nose in disgust, and give a little shudder, for, you see, I like to believe I am capable of doing most things on my own.

But, of late, my Savior has been revealing to me that I am not capable. I'm not even able to live for Him on my own.

I am completely, absolutely, entirely incapable.

But, He has also been showing me something very, very beautiful ~ in Him, in His strength, I am able. In Him, I am able to pray and see my God do crazy, impossible things. But only in Him.

I've been waiting for the past four days for my little mountain to move ~ for things with our home study to get started.  I know, I know, four days isn't very long to wait, but when you're as excited as we are about bringing our baby home, four days can seem like a lifetime to wait. In those four days, I've been reminded again and again that I must allow Him to open the doors. I must allow Him to do the work.

God has done some pretty incredible things the last few days ~ from providing for us to share a special time with friends, to steady jewelry sales, to bringing unexpected money for our adoption fund. God is and has been so so good to us.

Yet, the answer to our prayers had not yet come. Until today. Today I sensed in my spirit that my God was saying "Today's the day." And it was. And let me tell you, not even seventeen pages of paperwork can dim my excitement at this answered prayer.

All glory to His name!